Winter Haiku 2008/2009

Saturday, January 17, 2009

"urgent" in red
on the envelope -
his greeting card

***

"lettre prioritaire"
en rouge sur l'enveloppe -
sa carte de vœux

Gwil W said...: This is only a sign of the onset of old age. No need to worry.; January 17, 2009 at 6:59 AM
Gwil W said...: But having said that, the French version with the addition of "en rouge" is something far more interesting, nay romantic!; January 17, 2009 at 7:02 AM
Area 17 said...: I agree with PiR about the French-language version being quite different in tone, and potentially romantic.

I wonder if you have considered reversing the line order for the English-language version?

his greeting card
"urgent" in red
on the envelope; January 17, 2009 at 9:46 AM
Damien Gabriels said...: Thank you PiR and Alan,
my English translation can certainly be improved : don't hesitate to propose your own versions !
Alan, your proposition is interisting ; I just think that my version respects the chronology : first the envelope with the "urgent" mention in red, and then discovering his greeting card.
One more time : thank you !; January 17, 2009 at 12:14 PM

Saturday, January 17, 2009